Sanity. An overrated concept.

I've heard it's a fine line between being sane and batshit cray cray. That's my sweet spot. I live there. 

Do I smell glasses after washing them? I do. 

Do I break said glass and carve * one direction*  on my arm? No. 

Have I had conversations with paranormal entities? Yes.

Do I play PS4 with them when I get bored? No.

We all have thought ands quirks that would be deemed unsafe and unacceptable in a civilized society.If you think you don't, you're a liar. Like Gandhi when he said he was repulsed by sex with his wife when in reality he had the hots for Mr. Kallenbach. 

To be judgemental I think is something we learn involuntarily, just like crawling or walking.That awkward moment when the boy sat across you,picked his nose and ate his mucus? You LIAR. You judged him like he was bacon on a halal burger.

Why am I ranting about this though? It's because I want to be able to tell the world I'm sad. I'm surrounded by arseholes who make me sad. Sad enough that I need to be medicated to not want to stab myself in the neck and I don't want to be judged by anyone else for it.In the shallow society that we live in though, the moment you admit to having a mental illness, people throw the most random suggestions at you.

 "Maybe you will feel better if you have a child? " - Yes, Mary. Having a kid scream at your face day in and day out is just what I need.

"Have you thought about going on a holiday?"-  Do you even know me? I work in the NHS. To get leave for a holiday, I need to book it a year in advance and sacrifice a virgin, who I have to bring back from death to do my GIM on calls.

"You're fine.You just need to man up and fix yourself"- Sure, the lack of a phallic organ is the root of all my problems.

" Why do you make everything about yourself? You have other responsibilities that you mustn't forget!" - I'm sorry that I took a moment to think about myself. I must be selfish. You're absolutely right.

Why are we as a society so primitive when it comes to judging people for their behaviour when on the other end of the spectrum we elect uneducated imbeciles who promote sexism and communalism? Why are there double standards to our judgemental nature? It's baffling. Why is it that someone taking anxiolytics is taboo but telling people that their religion is not as good as yours is not? 

I'm beginning to lose the plot to surviving in this world. Being dead inside also probably throws your emotional intelligence off. A tiny bit.

However, as in Egyptian mythology, to get to the Sekhet -Aaru ( heaven), your heart gets weighed by Goddess Maat against a feather to decide if you've lived a virtuous life. If your heart weighs more than a mini blue whale rather than that of a feather,Ammit,a lioness who also part times as a Goddess,eats it and thus ends your journey to Aaru and then your soul floats around the universe like a poor person in Harrods. For eternity. 

So I'm going to try and make my heart a little lighter but incase Ammit has me for dinner, hit me up at Harrods won't you? Or you could be kind.er.