I'm not being a drama queen but dear God , karma seems to catch up with me so much that I 'm considering ordering for two when I dine these days and Im contemplating on reserving some bedspace for it in my room . :(
Its also pretty appalling that only such instances inspires me to write. Nope, no happy stuff. Just the raw cynical nonsense that I dish out , get a few likes(mostly just kartik and kunju.Thank god for them ) ,which eventually gets erased by FB during a temporary deactivation triggered by a bipolar mood swing.
Lets dive into the banter shall we?
Today Id like to drag you through the monotonous shades of my life and we 'll have a one on one discussion as to why its presumably fucked up .
Among a myriad of reasons , this time I'm going to discuss MEN . Thats right , Im going to get shot down probably within hours of publishing this but Im willing to make that sacrifice for preserving the sanity of many many women of my age going through the same shit .
Ive come up with a series of questions and probable theories as to why we end up wanting to decapitate a few morons or love some of them to death and very rarely want to scrape our very own pretty faces against a hard surface .
1) Do you always end up falling for the WRONG kind of guy ?
Inaccessible? ☑
Different country? ☑
Player of the century ?☑
Intelligence of a stick insect ?☑
Most unromantic prick on earth? ☑
Why does this happen ?
My theory : Absolute lack of self respect. It 'll get lonely. It 'll get dry and arid down there but it still isnt worth having your best friend pull you back while you re revving a tractor to maim the imbecile down. :| trust me .
Get out . Turn lesbian if required . Do NOT settle for one of the above mentioned kind though .
2) But I dont need the guy to be romantic ? :S
Of course you do! Not now. But months into the damn relationshit (not a typo) , you d be searching for something interesting and your unromantic better half would'nt have a clue as to why you re PMSing irregularly as he isnt TRAINED to be like that .
Your thoughts : * HE NEVER does anything nice or out of the ordinary *
His thoughts : * Would she get mad if I ask whats for dinner ? *
In the long run , please get a romantic man who is a tad creative or thoughtful because , we get bored .Soon enough.
PS: If your man says he 's not the expressive , romantic kind give him the boot and he'll realize in a matter of a few days that he can be , if it requires .
3) Space .
If you like getting space or giving space . Or you give space because space is required , remember one thing .
There is a FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE line between giving space and ignoring blatanlty . If you re not a professional , dont try it at home , You ll end up a sulky woman or a lonely man with all the space in the world . Forever.
The whole point of a relationship at the end of the day is the fact that you re going to be in each others " spaces" for a while . Pun intended.
4) I might be rebounding .
You re going to sit and compare everything about this new guy with the old chooth and finally its going to drive him up the wall. Then this is going to get messy and then you ll rebound again and again and again and you 'll end up a lonely woman at the country side with goats nibbling on your hair or feeding pigeons at your window sill not being able to figure out who was better of the lot .
Moral of story : Get the fuck out of there and refer to point one of this article .
5) NEVER NEVER NEVER another woman's man .
Its just pure evil and there is a very special place in hell for those lot. Above mentioned karma will bitchslap you in a minute and send you into a frenzy of insanity and you very well know , a man that strays , will stray on you as well .
Thats it for now though Im sure this will mark a new series of afterthoughts in multiple relationships I know , have heard of and been in .
The wrath of a couple of happy - go -lucky men will be set upon me soon and if I die , Id like the world to know that sharu gets my ipod and kunju gets to preserve my hair in a bottle to scatter across the arabian sea .
Cynically and probably single for life ingly yours
D
If there are grammatical errors and typos .. suck it . lol
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